The "Ex" Factor!!

I have been thinking of posting about this since a week now, but I got busy with reading The Indian Constitution :D Naah!! I’m not showing off, I’m just telling you so that even you would make an attempt to read it. So what is my current post about?? Anna hazare?? Lokpal?? Nope ....this blog is meant for my personal thoughts about my life and happenings in my life and the people I care about. Ok now don’t start off with don’t you care for the country, yeah yeah I do...but EoD its family first :P. I thought of posting this a week ago, but as usual was caught up in the web of doing too many things at a time. I spoke to one of my friends the other day he sounded low as he broke up with his girl friend, as usual I enquired him what the reason was and prepared myself to give him my piece of advice :D. After hearing him out patiently, my first thoughts were...dude how couldn’t you see it coming?!?!? Were you that blinded??

Well here is what happens.....It all starts with seeing a face, a certain light of smile and a tenor of voice that speaks of an inexplicable, unknown connection. It is an attraction strong enough to overcome that inner voice of caution that urges you to resist, to desist. You feel it the first time and every time. This is a charge that does not fade over time, it only grows stronger. This person is not your type in more ways than you can count. It is the relationship you get into fully prepared to be hurt and also know it will lead absolutely nowhere.

And yet, against your better judgment you allow your heart and soul into it, sometime rushing headlong in a state of euphoria or slowly, dreamlike almost unaware of what is happening to you. The magic lasts for a while and then suddenly the spell is broken, you begin to hurt past the threshold of pain. Your preparedness for disappointment is not nearly enough for what comes when the end comes as it inevitably must. You remain in denial as you try to cope, regain the life you had before you met this person. You ask yourself why you allowed this to happen knowing fully well such would be the consequences.

You want to gouge out the best and worst memories of your time together because echoing emptiness is better than searing pain. I feel it is your debt of karma and that must be paid. You suffer until there is nothing left to burn and turn to ash. One day you realize your atonement is over and you are finally free. You see that face again and this time that charge is simply not there. The same tilt in a smile and a tenor of voice but it no longer resonates with you. That is when you know you are truly over.

You can sit down and have a coffee together, chat about life and work, shake hands and leave promising to catch up another time fully knowing you never will - there will be no urge to do so. When you walk out on the street and see their form melting into the crowds, and feel no stab of pain in your heart, you know that you are free at last. You can feel the wind in your hair, notice the wildflowers seeking out a life in the cracks of the sidewalk - you know what it is to feel alive again - specially when you have no debts left to pay.

Tagged again!!

He/she, you, they - almost everyone is being tagged…how come nobody tagged me?
Well, for tagging someone, you have to think of someone, sigh… and I am so happy that my blogger friend thought about me and wants to know more about me.

This TAG is for 10 things that emotionally tax me and I’m calling it ‘My Pet Aversions’.
I dont know about the exact precedence of the list below, but these definitely sap me out:

1.Injustice to women: I hate men who treat women like lesser beings and also in many cases, like doormats. Some call me a feminist and so I am.

2.Show Off – This is something that makes me cringe. I have always been a firm believer of: ‘Substance over form’. And though I agree that some form is mandatory to hold the substance but vain,  form with no substance is like empty beautifully-wrapped  gift adorning a Christmas tree at a corporate party.

3.Breaking promises: I hate breaking promises and when someone does that to me. I believe in – do what you say or don’t say it. Keeping your word even in the smallest things speaks volumes of your character.

4.Unsolicited Advice: Some people designate themselves the counselors of all humanity I donot mind that, I'm like that at times, but few want to ram down their opinion down your throat. Its difficult for them to understand that – I'm ready to listen, but at the EoD I choose to be what I am.

5.Sugar-coating the neem: I hate glib and smooth talkers who make it difficult to discern the venom under the honey. I believe in calling a spade a spade, because that’s what it is. And sometimes, if you dig your teeth inside the sugar-coating, the stark bitterness makes you gag your guts out.

6.Manipulating Others: Some people spend better parts of their day in analyzing how they can take advantage of others. And they twist your arm without you even knowing it and its too late to slip away ;-)

7.Letting out secrets to hurt a person: You trust somebody with a secret and they let the feathers out in the air to be blown everywhere. This is so hurtful and disrespectful.

8.Doing laundry in the public: You need to share your woes, that’s understandable and that’s human but I don’t agree with washing dirty linen in public, in front of people you hardly know!

9.Pretence: I believe people who try to be what they are not suffer from low self-esteem. Every individual is precious and different and one must respect one’s identity. I'd love to put it this way “Kauva chala hans ki chaal, chalte chalte apni bhi bhool gaya.”

10.Over-curiosity : Some people just don’t know when to stop and keep on shooting intrusive queries, no matter how much you try to convey your annoyance.
A good example is: How much do you earn?
I made up a standard answer to this quest:
"Bas daal-roti ke layak mil jaata hai, zyada kuchh nahin."

Well I pass it on to my friends and I TAG Shruthi Srivastav and Manish Gupta :D :P

Where is the Eve's share of Adam's apple?

I don’t know what was the relation between Adam and Eve, when they had no other human being around them….but now, when we have so many Adams and Eves around us, I don’t think that the two ever shared a relationship of equal chances and opportunities.

The blunt truth of all societies, taken from the ultra modern west to the dogmatic east is that females are always considered inferior to males. ‘Male is always greater than female’; this equation is so deep-rooted in the society that it would take eras to change and not to mention that tens of eras have already passed bringing no or minimal changes.

Equality does not mean that my daughter gets the same calories as my son, or I invest equal on both of them…..thankfully, a sector of Indian society has crossed a threshold, where equality meant food, clothing and education. But, we are still to cross some other thresholds in the society. And among all, the greatest is the barrier of mentality.

Indian or any other society could not have equality of subjects, till we develop the vision to see every one with a same eye. Ironically, a male grants an equal status to a girl till she is his colleague or a friend…or in better words, does not have the power to implement his say in her life. And this status evaporates when the same man turns up at his wife, daughter or even a committed girl friend. Why? Because, earlier the girl had a nuisance value, which she looses, as soon as she falls into a commitment.

This axiom that its impossible to understand a woman’s emotions is as baseless as the hopes of getting an emotional man. Men can be anything, but emotional. Don’t take me wrong. I am not against anyone. In fact, some of my best friends are male….but there are a certain features, which you would always find in them, wherever and whatever they are.

The feeling of ‘men are men’ never leaves them alone. Even if they are very patient, very friendly and very understanding, still, they would never be like your best female friends. You could never expect them to teach you anything without proving that you stand low before them. Yeah…..the style might differ from person to person, depending upon their education, family or temperament. But, then again after all men are men. Perhaps, this is hormonal and physiological.

Whatever……but the best thing for which I thank lord for making me a girl is the courage to ‘surrender’. This is the difference between the mentality of a man and a woman. While, for a man, capitulation means accepting the defeat….the woman simply moves away, because she knows that many times, you do not want to win because then you know you would loose everything. Also, where there is love, there is no place for conflicts and when there is no conflict then there is no possibility of defeat. She understands and thus accepts this, which her male counterpart doesn’t.

Whatever be the reason….but I have come across several men.....none of them were courageous enough to bow before a female. Why? This ‘why’ reveals the difference in mentalities between the two most beautiful creations of god….. which would take eras to get subtle.