Battlefield SCIENCE

I struggled with weird phobia of facing the Math  exams when I was in high school. Once I reached college, I decided to kick my mental block and did something very adventurous…insane is probably the right word to use here.

While choosing subjects for my 2 year intermediate course (11^th & 12^th) I decided I would take up the subjects I most struggled with. I picked Mathematics, Physics and Chemistry as my main subjects and Sanskrit as my language choice. My dad wanted me to become an engineer so I was attending the engineering entrance prep classes from 5-8AM every day for the entire 2 year period. That gave me enough opportunity to improve my Math ability. While I had to work hard for Math, I completely enjoyed Physics and Chemistry. I still do to this day. Though I could not get in to Engineering, I started to take interest in mathematics.

For my 3 year graduation course, I took up  Chemical technology which had Mathematics and Statistics to continue the metal-block kicking and Computer Science because I was drawn to it. Chem-tech was part fun and part pain. There were times when i cursed myself for electing the subject. I tasted failing in a subject that I loved for the first time. I failed in “Mass Transfer Operations-2” and had to re-take the exam. I fell short of the required 40%. I made a terrible mistake by attempting only 40% of the paper. My mind went blank that day when I saw the question paper (not that I was under prepared...I’m still trying to figure out the reason). I tried hard to think what was on the black board behind Mrs. Lalitha (the prof who took MTO-2 classes the entire semester) but I could not visualize it...all that came to my mind was the stupid comments and pranks we played in her class. It was a shame....nobody fails in MTO-2 its one of the core subjects.

I went on to do my Post graduation in Analytical chemistry. Chemistry had been my favourite subject ever since high school. It kind of gave me peace after a hectic math class. Once I started to work, life wasn’t easy. I learnt a lot during this phase, the most important lesson being I am not a super woman and that realization was hard to handle. My day started at 4:30 every morning and ended at 8:00 in the evening. I did not have time for anything else...at times when i met my friends few used to say they joined salsa classes or they were taking guitar lessons....damn I wish I could take some time out for something like that. I love to sing and dance...my training in Indian classical dance form ended abruptly due to demanding curriculum and cut throat competition. I’ve always been a decent singer , though  I did not have any kind of formal training I managed to sing well...but sometimes its frustrating when you know that you are a wasted talent.

It feels great to see Y have the natural ability with numbers (which I did not have) and his knowledge in music was an added bonus.This means two things 1) Someone up there must love me a lot for giving my better half (may be that’s the reason he’s called the “better” half) the exact same gifts that I badly wanted. 2) Y has his list of battles I guess.....I like the first point better J 

Procrastinated for good

I’ve been thinking about sorting some letters, documents, bills and stuff for quite some time. Its out of sheer laziness you can say, I’ve been putting this activity off. Finally it was last week that after much motivation  from my mom (by the way my mom is here and I’m loving it)  and coaxing from Y, I plunged in to the darkness of figuring what should be filed and what should be trashed. While rummaging through the piles of half useful and half worthless stuff, I came across an envelope. It was addressed to Y and without a doubt it was my handwriting. The little flick of a memory triggered an ocean of emotions and little did I realize that it halted the task I was doing forever.

Whow was my first reaction.....this was my first & last handwritten letter to Y. Well let me not insult it my calling it a letter..a memoir rather. It was a 12 page long one in which I was trying to propose him but couldn’t. Another one of such memoirs that I came across was the IM chat Y and me had the night he proposed (it was 25^th December 2007). I would not call it night, as our chat  began sometime around 10:00 PM to 8:00 am the next day and somewhere around 1:00am he proposed me J.Ohh what a pleasure it was to go through those pages (43 in total), I was back to that day.... that wonderful day/night. Page by page as I read it was like travelling back in time and reliving those moments again. Another one of those which delighted me was the menu for our wedding and reception. This one reminded me of all the efforts I put in arranging things for my wedding. I feel proud when people to this day say that the food at our wedding was one of the best  that they had. May be its true when they say “Hard work pays”. Then there was our wedding invitation, with hardly any time (that was because I wanted my wedding cards ready a month before the wedding, around the time of the engagement), I plagiarized the matter from few old cards (greeting cards and old wedding invitations).

My day had been made looking at all the stuff. If this is the feeling when we have been married for only 3 years...I blush at the thought, the magic this stuff will create when we read it say after 25 years?? J

An encounter with Solitude

Last sunday I had a great time. Sunday felt like Sunday after a very long time. The two of us went boating, watched the dolphins as the sun disappeared in to the horizon. After the drive, we religiously headed to the usual restaurant, had a good dinner and were back home. While lying on my bed I thought Sunday felt good and then suddenly I was  lying there and talking to myself. I realized that its been long since I have thought about myself. I have been busy with visiting others and others visiting me....but been long since I visited myself. For me, things have changed after marriage, I mean my personality, my priorities, my thoughts, my nature...and suddenly OMG!! I do not identify with my own self anymore. In the daily race between priorities of home and family, so many things have changed in me. Time for some introspection. I feel lonely most of the times and try to keep myself busy with stupid activities. Sadly I never tried to sit peacefully and think....about myself. I never liked being alone, somehow I was missing the absence of the others in my life and was not enjoying the presence of my own self. My encounter with solitude gave me a chance to think about myself.

As I lay in the bed I got so many answers to the burning questions in my life some silly and some serious. Well surprisingly it wasn’t anyone else who gave me the solutions rather it was me who made myself realize my troubleshooting potential....my inner strengths, my determination, ambitions, courage, dreams. I think in the daily rush and demanding relationships, I had lost myself. That night I rediscovered myself...thanks to my solitude. Till that day the word was just another word in the dictionary, but now i know the importance of it. It feels good to visit yourself once in a while and rekindle your inner strengths.

Men are from Mars!!

Hello all I apologise for the looooooooooong break, well not my fault (blame BSNL). I got my telephone and broadband shifted a couple of days back. Before I write anything, I would like to tell you all that I have nothing against the "SEX" mentioned below ( see I could have used the word "gender", but when its me who's writing you cannot expect sophistication). I dedicate this post to my husband whom I dearly love after all he's been the  inspiration (topic) for most of my posts. Let me make it clear to you all once again, I have nothing against men. Whoever said that "Men are from Mars" ..... very true, because few things they do are not earthly!!

Here are a few to name

1) Why do they take the news paper in to the toilet?? Once they do...they take eons of years     to come out.

2) Why do they like action packed movies?? does blood shed turn men on??

3) Why do they make faces when we take them shopping?? I mean how can somebody hate      something so wonderful as "SHOPPING"

4) Why do they (husbands) hate our male friends.I mean though my husband never put any   kind of restriction on me regarding this, he seems quite uncomfortable with the  idea.

5) Get one thing straight guys women take time to get dressed. Come on yaar unlike men    (who have nothing more to choose from shirts, t-shirts, trousers and jeans) women have to     choose from a wide range of clothing ( jeans, tops, t-shirts, salwar- kameez, lehenga-choli,      Sarees of different kinds, Skirts of various lengths). Hey that doesn't stop there, we have to      get the footwear and other accessories right too.

6) Who can tell what their favourite phrases are?? me..me!!  their favourite phrases are "kuch       bhi" & "Tumhari marzi"

   Jaanu mein party keliye kya pehnu??...."kuch bhi" or "tumhari marzi"

   Jaanu khane mein kya banaoon??........"kuch bhi" or "tumhari marzi"

7) Men suck when it comes to remembering things especailly dates. My husband keeps on     asking me "Jaan humaari shaadi kaunsi tareekh ko hui thi??". I'm glad that he atleast      remembers that we are married to eachother.

and finally the most amusing thing

8) Why can't they find a better place to put a wet towel other than the bed??